How many times have you said, “Yes,” to someone when you’ve wanted to say, “No”?

I’ve often had a gut feeling that I needed to do something a particular way and then someone has suggested I do it another way and followed their guidance only to feel frustrated afterwards, realizing that my first instinct was the best course of action.

Earlier today I was at the Getty Museum with my family for a children’s concert. I could see my three-year-old son was getting tired as he hadn’t taken a nap. As we sat on the beautiful emerald green lawn, my intuition said, “Stay close to Dominick, he’s tired”.

“I better go be with Dominick to be safe,” I said to a family friend.

“He should be fine, there’s lot of kids running around and it’s a nice big grassy area,” she said.

I thought to myself, she’s probably right, she’s had two kids, I don’t want to be the over-protective mom, so I sat on the blanket and went against my instinct.

A few minutes later, Dominick ran down the lawn and couldn’t slow down. We didn’t see the height of the wall, even though there was a line of flags hanging to prevent kids from jumping from the grass onto the concrete. My heart dropped into my stomach as Dominick fell almost three feet off the wall onto the hard ground. The security-guard who was meant to be stationed there, wasn’t.

My mind flashed to spending the rest of the afternoon in the E.R. I was terrified. My husband Nick leapt over the barrier and scooped up Dominick. I couldn’t believe he was ok, apart from some light scrapes on his hands and knees. “Thank you angels,” I whispered to myself.

I didn’t want to be the mom who pushed back, I wanted to do what I thought was the polite and respectful thing to do. I didn’t want to seem like I was paranoid and overreacting.

I was reminded that in my desire to be loved and accepted that I was doing something to make someone else happy.

The most important question to ask yourself is, “Am I feeling intuition or fear?”

It is much easier to see clearly for someone else when you have no emotional attachment to the outcome. However, if you have strong feelings or are fearful about how things could turn out, it will be very difficult for you to clearly evaluate whether you are being guided by your intuition or driven by fear.

One of the most common questions I get asked is, “Should I stay in this relationship or end it?”

Over and over again, I see that the person asking the question already knows the best course of action to take, but they don’t want to hurt the other person, even though it is hurting them by not making a decision.

When I was in my dating days, I found the more friends I talked to about my confused feelings and asked for their advice, the worse I felt. I didn’t have the confidence to make a choice because I feared making a mistake.

I’ve learned that failure is the road to success. If I hadn’t gone through my dating nightmares, then I wouldn’t have been ready for my loving husband.

When I used to give dating advice on my TV show in the U.K. I was secretly confused over guys, I felt like such a failure but I later learned that I wasn’t confused, I had very low self esteem.

Here is a mini-quiz for you to see if you have a habit of people pleasing?

1. You’ve been looking forward to a morning off and starting your day at 10am and your boss or a client calls you the night before and asks if you can come in at 8am. What do you do?

a) Pretend that you have another commitment and then feel guilty for telling a white lie.

b) Agree to start at 8am.

c) Say that you have planned for a quiet morning but are happy to do 8am the next day.

2. A new movie is out that you’re excited to see and the person you’re dating who you’re really into wants to see a different movie that isn’t your type of genre. What do you do?

a) Arrange to see the movie with a different friend but wish that your date was with you.

b) Tell them you don’t mind seeing the movie of their choice but feel disappointed.

c) Let them know you’d like them to see the movie with you, even though it isn’t their thing, you’d be so happy if they’d go with you.

3. It’s your good friend’s birthday but it’s at an expensive restaurant and you know it’s going to be a big check and you want to stick within your budget. What do you do?

a) Say you’d love to be there to celebrate but you’re not feeling great and eat dinner at home.

b) Go to the dinner and feel anxious most of the night and spend over your budget because other people have ordered lots of drinks and you only got an appetizer.

c) Tell them you’re on a budget and would like to get a separate check and have a great night celebrating.

Mostly A’s: You take care of yourself but it doesn’t feel good. You are being out of integrity with your needs. It’s time to build courage in being honest about what you want and letting the other person know that you care about them to.

Mostly B’s: You are being a doormat. You probably know that. You see yourself saying, “Yes,” when you want to say, “No,” but it’s like you can’t help yourself. This means you have some deep buried mindset patterns that need to be acknowledged and healed.

Mostly C’s: Congratulations! You have good self-esteem. You are true to yourself and create win-win situations in most of your relationships. This doesn’t mean it is easy for you but the more you practice, the better you will feel about yourself and set a great example for others.

I’d love to hear what insights you got about yourself from the quiz?

Love & miracles,

 

 

 

Joanna Garzilli

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Tweet me @JoannaGarzilli

Connect and Like my fan page here.

I love reading. I have this habit of reading several books at the same time, however not literally. I have this desire to devour information. I was watching the new Steven Spielberg TV show SMASH this weekend. I am hooked! On Saturday morning while my husband was out at a transportation city-planning meeting, I watched three episodes back to back. There’s a scene where Jack Davenport’s character says, “I need more information,” so they could decide which actress to cast as Marilyn Monroe. This information was acquired through callbacks, private meetings at bars and even in the bedroom.

The character of Ivy Lynn has been on Broadway for ten years, she knows how to do perfection. The new girl Karen Cartwright is naïve, she doesn’t have experience of how to handle relationships on or off the stage but she radiates pure God given talent.

The point I want to make is whether you have years of experience or not, don’t let your past stop you being the true you.

You don’t have to let your past patterns and behaviors write your life story. You can create whatever you want this week. You can plant seeds that will eventually become fruit from your labor.

On Friday night, I had dinner with a dear friend and business associate. She wanted my advice on a TV opportunity that was being presented to her with a huge talent agency. My mind went into involuntary panic mode. I had a bad past experience with this talent agency and I wanted to protect her from getting hurt. I launched into all the ways she needed to protect herself with the producers, production company, agents and TV network. Later that night, I felt bad for what I had said. I was making an assumption that because I had gone through a bad past experience, that the same would happen to her, yet there was no evidence that this would be the case.

All I needed to share was how to prepare for the meetings with the agents, producers and TV network. My past drama and failure was not helpful for her because I was responding from fear.

How is your past shaping your decisions today? Are you making choices based on your past experiences in relationships, career and money history?

Today, I challenge you to let go of the meaning of your past. Your past experiences are not you. You can do whatever you want. I’m not suggesting you don’t do your taxes or refuse to go through the TSA security check. I’m hoping that instead of rushing through your day, numbing your underlying pain, all the while making effort to hold your life together, that you will choose to take actions that are harmonious with your spirit, soothe your soul and make you feel good.

Here are 3 things you can do to release the limitations of your past:

#1 Write down 10 things from the past that are bothering you. Be aware that if you are struggling to get something on paper or feel resistance to writing them, there is clearing to do.

#2 During your day, as you feel yourself check out and dive into your past, gently bring yourself back into the present. Look at your surroundings, take a couple of conscious breaths to get back into reality.

#3 Stop focusing on why something turned out the way it did. You can’t change the past. When your mind goes to a situation that hurt you, remind yourself that it is old energy that is not relevant today. Today is a new day and you can create a new positive outcome.

I want to confirm that you may get frustrated by these three exercises, it’s likely that you’ll skim over them and carry on with your day, doing things the old way. When you are ready to let go and try something different, you create space for spirit to come in and assist you. Your intuition can expand.

I would love to hear your breakthroughs and if you like what I am sharing, forward it to a friend who would benefit from this message.

Have a beautiful day and remember you are not your past!

Love and Miracles,

Joanna Garzilli xoxo

Comment or email: Joanna@bigmiraclebreakthrough.com

Follow Joanna Garzilli on Twitter here.

This past week has been AMAZING! I couldn’t wait any longer to discover if we would be having a boy or a girl. What do you think? Boy or girl?

Click this link to watch the video and satisfy your curiosity

You have to make decisions everyday. What to wear? Where to eat? What brand of toothpaste to buy? Which phone service provider to use? What emails to read first? Birthday gifts to shop for loved ones? Where to live? Who to date? Marriage??

• Are you aware of how many decisions you need to make in a day?
• Do you know how to prioritize your decisions?
• Are you overwhelmed yet?

Don’t blame yourself if you procrastinate or slip into denial. It takes persistent practice to make smart fast decisions.

The more you practice, the faster you’ll trust yourself.

Let’s take a look at the seven basic steps of successful decision-making.

1. Stop Thinking

Do you know why you get overwhelmed? Exhausted? Irritable? Frustrated? Worried? Stressed? Doubtful?

The problem is thoughts are swimming in your head, tons of thoughts. They don’t stop until you make a decision.

Do you know why you don’t make an important decision?

Because you’re always thinking, and even when you think you’re not thinking, you are!

You’re on autopilot and decisions that need to be made are still swimming in your head. Then when you reach your deadline and have to decide, you make a poor choice because you feel rushed or lack clarity.

When you become aware of your thoughts you can stop thinking.

Here’s what you need to do next…

2. Create Space to Feel What You’re Really Feeling

Each thought has an emotion attached to it. That’s why the more decisions you put off making, the more overwhelmed you will get.

Overwhelm creeps up on you slowly. It starts off as doubt, turns into worry, increases to stress, leads to irritability, frustration and finally exhaustion and overwhelm.

Would you like to bypass that rollercoaster of feelings when you have to make an important decision?

You’ve got to allow yourself to feel. When you numb your emotions, they become destructive.

Grab a pen and paper, no excuses and let yourself feel.

What do you feel?

3. Write Down a Challenging Decision You Need to Make

When you experience denial, you don’t even know what you need to decide. This is a great way to cause chaos, miscommunication and upset in your life. The problem is not going to go away.

Do you leave your job? Stay in the unfulfilling relationship? Ask for a raise? Spend money on a much-needed vacation when a credit card debt is due?

Don’t skip over this. Write down your question.

4. Ask Yourself Why You Have to Make This Decision

When you look at the question you’ve written down, ask yourself why this decision is important to you.

For example: Do I end my relationship with boyfriend?

There’s a reason why you feel like you need to make a decision. You need to use your intuition to look inwards and discover your true feelings. The only reason you don’t have the answer or are scared to see the truth is because you have an unconscious fear.

When you break down the decision-making process into steps, it removes fear.

This opens you to the energy of creation.

5. Create the Outcome You Want

You know what you want. What stops you deciding is fear of making the wrong choice.

There is no poor choice if you’re doing the best you can.

Close your eyes and bring your awareness to your solar plexus (a few inches above the belly button and below the heart). Now move your awareness inside this space.

Feel deep inside yourself. You are connecting to your Will that guides you to live purposefully.

You will always make the best choice when you make decisions from this space of awareness.

6. Release Attachment to the Result

Once you’ve made a decision; let go of how you think things are going to turn out.

If you worry or obsess over your choice; you’ll drive yourself nuts.

What’s done is done. There is a learning curve in using your intuition to ensure good decision-making.

Better to decide, than let people, circumstances and life control you.

7. Allow Yourself to Receive Intuitive Guidance

The biggest mistake I see people make is they look for answers outside of themselves.

Can you get quiet enough to hear your inner guidance?

The guidance is always there. In fact every aspect of your sixth sense is giving you support.

Do you know how each one of your intuitive senses can give you guidance?

When you are in tune with your intuition, you’ll feel confident about your next step.

When you allow intuition, it will become a strong presence in your life.

Tune In, Trust It

It’s simple to make successful decisions once you get in tune with your intuition. Depending on how receptive you are will determine how fast you trust yourself.

Start off with making small decisions faster and then when you feel ready, tackle the more challenging choices you need to make.

Keep following these 7-steps above and you’ll soon eliminate self-doubt and become a powerful leader.