How many times have you said, “Yes,” to someone when you’ve wanted to say, “No”?

I’ve often had a gut feeling that I needed to do something a particular way and then someone has suggested I do it another way and followed their guidance only to feel frustrated afterwards, realizing that my first instinct was the best course of action.

Earlier today I was at the Getty Museum with my family for a children’s concert. I could see my three-year-old son was getting tired as he hadn’t taken a nap. As we sat on the beautiful emerald green lawn, my intuition said, “Stay close to Dominick, he’s tired”.

“I better go be with Dominick to be safe,” I said to a family friend.

“He should be fine, there’s lot of kids running around and it’s a nice big grassy area,” she said.

I thought to myself, she’s probably right, she’s had two kids, I don’t want to be the over-protective mom, so I sat on the blanket and went against my instinct.

A few minutes later, Dominick ran down the lawn and couldn’t slow down. We didn’t see the height of the wall, even though there was a line of flags hanging to prevent kids from jumping from the grass onto the concrete. My heart dropped into my stomach as Dominick fell almost three feet off the wall onto the hard ground. The security-guard who was meant to be stationed there, wasn’t.

My mind flashed to spending the rest of the afternoon in the E.R. I was terrified. My husband Nick leapt over the barrier and scooped up Dominick. I couldn’t believe he was ok, apart from some light scrapes on his hands and knees. “Thank you angels,” I whispered to myself.

I didn’t want to be the mom who pushed back, I wanted to do what I thought was the polite and respectful thing to do. I didn’t want to seem like I was paranoid and overreacting.

I was reminded that in my desire to be loved and accepted that I was doing something to make someone else happy.

The most important question to ask yourself is, “Am I feeling intuition or fear?”

It is much easier to see clearly for someone else when you have no emotional attachment to the outcome. However, if you have strong feelings or are fearful about how things could turn out, it will be very difficult for you to clearly evaluate whether you are being guided by your intuition or driven by fear.

One of the most common questions I get asked is, “Should I stay in this relationship or end it?”

Over and over again, I see that the person asking the question already knows the best course of action to take, but they don’t want to hurt the other person, even though it is hurting them by not making a decision.

When I was in my dating days, I found the more friends I talked to about my confused feelings and asked for their advice, the worse I felt. I didn’t have the confidence to make a choice because I feared making a mistake.

I’ve learned that failure is the road to success. If I hadn’t gone through my dating nightmares, then I wouldn’t have been ready for my loving husband.

When I used to give dating advice on my TV show in the U.K. I was secretly confused over guys, I felt like such a failure but I later learned that I wasn’t confused, I had very low self esteem.

Here is a mini-quiz for you to see if you have a habit of people pleasing?

1. You’ve been looking forward to a morning off and starting your day at 10am and your boss or a client calls you the night before and asks if you can come in at 8am. What do you do?

a) Pretend that you have another commitment and then feel guilty for telling a white lie.

b) Agree to start at 8am.

c) Say that you have planned for a quiet morning but are happy to do 8am the next day.

2. A new movie is out that you’re excited to see and the person you’re dating who you’re really into wants to see a different movie that isn’t your type of genre. What do you do?

a) Arrange to see the movie with a different friend but wish that your date was with you.

b) Tell them you don’t mind seeing the movie of their choice but feel disappointed.

c) Let them know you’d like them to see the movie with you, even though it isn’t their thing, you’d be so happy if they’d go with you.

3. It’s your good friend’s birthday but it’s at an expensive restaurant and you know it’s going to be a big check and you want to stick within your budget. What do you do?

a) Say you’d love to be there to celebrate but you’re not feeling great and eat dinner at home.

b) Go to the dinner and feel anxious most of the night and spend over your budget because other people have ordered lots of drinks and you only got an appetizer.

c) Tell them you’re on a budget and would like to get a separate check and have a great night celebrating.

Mostly A’s: You take care of yourself but it doesn’t feel good. You are being out of integrity with your needs. It’s time to build courage in being honest about what you want and letting the other person know that you care about them to.

Mostly B’s: You are being a doormat. You probably know that. You see yourself saying, “Yes,” when you want to say, “No,” but it’s like you can’t help yourself. This means you have some deep buried mindset patterns that need to be acknowledged and healed.

Mostly C’s: Congratulations! You have good self-esteem. You are true to yourself and create win-win situations in most of your relationships. This doesn’t mean it is easy for you but the more you practice, the better you will feel about yourself and set a great example for others.

I’d love to hear what insights you got about yourself from the quiz?

Love & miracles,

Joanna Garzilli

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Tweet me @JoannaGarzilli

Connect and Like my fan page here.

Thank you so much for your beautiful prayers reflected back to me, I appreciated your emails:) I also had quite a few of you asking about my healing session with Howard Wills, I promise I will share more details on Friday about what happened!

I got a TV hosting request in from my manager at TVGuestpert. I thought it a good idea to do some research on the TV production company, who were interested in me. As I typed in the name of the company into my iphone and read, I gasped.

“What is it?” my husband Nick said.

I didn’t want to tell him, it was embarrassing, a skeleton in my closet.

“You don’t want to know,” I said.

“Tell me,” he said.

I took a deep breath to find some much needed courage.

“I hooked up with one of the owners of the TV company.”

“Did you sleep with him?” he said.

“Yes, he’s also a famous TV host in the UK,” I said, cringing. I felt so embarrassed.

That summer was a crazy summer. I had written a book called Confessions of a Psychic which I later on threw away because it was written during the peak of my love addiction. I was giving great relationship advice on Live TV but when the focus went back on myself, I couldn’t let myself feel my feeling. I attracted many clients to me who also suffered around love relationships and dating. As I’d tune in for a client, they’d often reflect back what was happening in my own life and spirit would channel the answer through me.

It felt awkward because I wondered if I was really giving true guidance however, at the end of the session, the client would say, “Wow you totally nailed what I’m going through and I feel like I can handle this moving forwards”.

I’m only sharing about my love addiction now because when I was in it, I was ranting and complaining about men betraying me, leading me on, using me. I was a total victim.

As I did the spiritual work, I kept healing. Some days it felt incredibly painful to be with my feelings but I have learned to be with the discomfort because I know the other side of this pain is an ocean of peace where I am deeply connected to spirit. It makes me a better intuitive, psychic and coach. I am able to see with deeper clarity. I see into the depths of a person’s soul. The beautiful lesson I recently learned is just because I can see someone’s garbage and smell it, yes energy has a scent to it as well! It is not my responsibility to clear their blockages unless they want to be helped.

I know many of you reading this are extremely empathetic, meaning you absorb people’s energy, what they are thinking and feeling, you take on, into your own energy field. When you begin to heal your past, things can feel worse before it feels better but know that if you have the courage to clean out the closets of your mind, heart and home, your life will improve in leaps and bounds and miracles will occur!

Join me and friends Live in person for The Spring Equinox Healing, Prayer & Manifestation Circle in Santa Monica on Thursday March 22, 2012 @5pm PST. You are invited! This is an opportunity for you to:

• Spring Clean Your Soul
• Pray for loved ones, family, friends and those who are in need around the world
• Awaken Your Intuition to the next level
• Activate the Healer within
• Receive a Message from Spirit about Manifesting your Heart & Soul’s Desire in 2012 and Beyond
• Release money and love energy attachments to create space for abundance and healthy relationships

Please feel free to invite your friends, there is no charge for this event. The ceremony will begin at 5pm and end at 7pm when the sun sets. Here is a link to where we are meeting and parking info at Lifeguard Station #26 down on the beach at 2600 Barnard Way. South of Ocean Park and Neilson Way intersection. Santa Monica, CA 90405

RSVP to Joanna@BigMiracleBreakthrough.com or just show up and I’ll be happy to see you!

Love & miracles,

Joanna Garzilli

p.s. Do you want a Big Miracle Breakthrough in your life? I have learned it is better to take action from a place of prevention rather than crisis. Big Miracle Breakthrough 90 Day Program will give you all the tools you need to manifest what you desire.

Intuition Blueprint Reading (limited availability):
To learn more and download an application, click here

“Joanna Garzilli changed my financial life. For almost two years I was struggling to find a way to make more money from my online business and in just one session she taught me how to DOUBLE my sales and it worked instantly. Joanna’s intuition and business savvy are a powerful combination!”

- Mastin Kipp, CEO & Founder of TheDailyLove.com

p.p.s. You’re invited to a special webinar being held on Thursday, March 22nd at 2pm PST/5pm EST with @brianjambor. This is going to be fantastic info from a marketing specialist. There is no obligation to buy anything, it’s not a sales pitch. It’s juicy info that will help you better serve your customers and clients and ultimately you! CLICK HERE if you’d like to register.

I’m a Scorpio and I used to be really proud to be this astrological sign because it is known as “The Sex Sign” of the zodiac system. I thought being a sexy sign was powerful because it would make me more desirable and loveable.

As a teenager my mom used to quote Queen’s hit song, “Another One Bites The Dust” because I would dump a guy as soon as he gave me any love. I also became obsessed with chasing guys who were absolutely emotionally unavailable.

My core belief system was, love is getting someone to do what I want. Love is being told I am beautiful and sexy. Love is someone wanting my body.  I didn’t have a healthy foundation about the meaning of love. I didn’t have guidance about how to recognize the difference between a healthy loving relationship and toxic love.

When it came to love, my thoughts were insane at times. After one date with a guy who was aloof and playing games with me, I was hooked. I wanted him to want me. I was obsessed with winning him over. I couldn’t focus on getting anything else done. I would talk on the phone for hours with whoever would listen in my circle of friends to my latest love drama.

When I hear someone say, “There’s no good guys out there, they’re all taken,” I have to disagree. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. You have to first believe that it is possible for you to meet someone. If you can’t believe yet because you’ve been so hurt or betrayed in past relationships, that’s okay because there is another attitude you can practice…surrender.

When I was 32-years-old, I was financially broke and heart broken. I watched the movie “13 Going On 30″ with the intention of checking out from my reality because I had a lot of self-loathing and feelings of shame. I cried my eyes out when I saw Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo’s characters get together and live happily ever after because my life felt so far from having that experience.

I got down on my hands and knees and as I wailed, tears streaming down my cheeks said, “God, why not me? I want to meet my husband.”

I heard a voice in my head say, “You’re not committed.” I felt angry. Why did that inner voice say that, it just wasn’t true? That night when I went to sleep, I reflected on this intuition (inner teacher). Something clicked at a cellular level as I surrendered to being a know it all and wanting to do things my way. I had been committed to uncommitted people because I was scared of opening my heart, falling in love and being abandoned.

I carried deep shame for years that I proposed to a guy because I didn’t think I was worthy of true love. After he said yes, I gave him $5 to buy me an engagement ring. I remember showing off the ring but feeling sick inside. I needed to do a love detox. I didn’t know where to start. If you have gone through many toxic relationships or are in one now, I urge you not to hide from your feelings. When I was in denial, I went financially broke because my spirit was broken.

I finally decided to commit to love. I didn’t know how it would show up in my life but I was willing. A couple of weeks later I met my husband Nick. He told me that he had gone to church and told God he was ready to meet his wife. We met in a small theater in Hollywood, CA doing a sketch comedy show.

Here are 3 Love Detox Tools:

#1 Write a list of all your past dates, lovers and relationships that you can remember?

Next to each name, write why you were with that person, what was your motivation for being with them?

#2 Go through your list of names and label each one with “I ended the relationship” or “They ended the relationship”. For 10 minutes write a stream of consciousness of what pattern you see around your love path.

#3 Complete this exercise with giving thanks for the lesson you learned with each person on the list. Until you can take responsibility for your part, you will not be able to let go.

Be gentle and kind to yourself. You don’t purge years of toxic love in 15 minutes but if you take 5 minutes each day to focus on letting go of your toxic love story, miracles can happen!

Love & Miracles,

Joanna Garzilli

xo xo xo

Joanna Garzilli is author of The Big Miracle Breakthrough 90 Day Program and Unleash The Psychic In You: How To Trust Your Intuition for Successful Decision Making. She was most recently on Fox News, sharing how to use your intuition for online dating. In two years, she went from being massively in debt, unemployed and having a series of failed relationships to creating a successful TV show, happily married with a beautiful son, with a thriving multiple six-figures business. Check out her websites at http://JoannaGarzilli.com and http://BigMiracleBreakthrough.com

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I love spring. It gives me a sense of hope and excitement. Where I have been focusing on the negative, I have renewed sight. Things that used to bother me, I see as miracles. People that used to upset me, I now see as spiritual teachers, that we had a sacred contract to fulfill.

Spring is an opportunity to clear away paperwork, get clear on finances and become more aware of what we put in our bodies.

I have a burning desire to talk about SMASH again. My husband and I were watching the fifth episode last night. There’s this scene where Ivy Lynn, the actress who is set to play Marilyn goes to see her director, Derek Wells. Ivy has had a few too many drinks and she shows up late night at Derek’s pad. Their exchange was awkward. She had felt humiliated by the way he had treated her. He told her, that it wasn’t personal, then asked her to stay the night. I wanted to scream at her, “Go home! Derek is no good for you, he’s a narcissist and you are damaged goods”.

I had been in Ivy Lynn’s shoes in the past. Let me confirm that I have never been on Broadway, singing is not my strength but I did have a relationship with a film director when I was an actress. This man was a classic narcissist but I didn’t see him as that. He pursued me for many weeks and the more I said I wasn’t interested, the more he chased after me. I didn’t realize I liked the attention, even though I wasn’t attracted to him and then one night, after we’d finished shooting the movie, we met up for a late night dinner and I said to him “It’s never going to happen”. I believed with every part of my soul that nothing was ever going to happen because my intuition told me from the day I met him that this was a dangerous man, not to be trusted.

Later that night, our relationship began to my absolute surprise, however if I’d been giving myself a psychic reading, it would have been totally apparent that I was about to play with fire. I was in serious denial. As the relationship progressed, I became obsessed with what he thought of me and what he was doing. It was the unhealthiest, toxic type of love and it meant that I couldn’t focus on my work. Everything I did was with the desire to get his approval and so the deal I had with a big TV network fell through and I felt like a victim of Hollywood, used and abused.

Now I can look back and see that this director didn’t do anything wrong. He was being himself and I was set on changing him. My big time talent agency weren’t trying to screw me. I was naïve and didn’t know my worth. Today, when I feel the past pull me backwards, away from the blessings in my life today, I am aware that psychic healing needs to occur. As we form relationships, whether they are romantic, business, friendship that an energy connection is made at a soul level and this energy is connected throughout time and space.

Your past affects your present and your present impacts your future. Where is your mind during the day? Is it focused on a betrayal in a relationship? Is there anything from your past that is affecting the way you make decisions today? If you say no, you are not looking deep enough.

Today is an opportunity to Spring Clean Your Soul. Remove the cobwebs from the past, gently but with intention. I created a guided meditation as part of Big Miracle Breakthrough specifically to Spring Clean Your Soul because I have seen many times for my clients and myself how energy that is invisible to your eyes, impacts your life today.

Spirit gave me the call to host a Spring Equinox Healing, Prayer & Manifestation Circle in Santa Monica on Thursday March 22, 2012 @5pm PST. You are invited! This is an opportunity for you to:

• Spring Clean Your Soul
• Pray for loved ones, family, friends and those who are in need around the world
• Awaken Your Intuition to the next level
• Activate the Healer within
• Receive a Message from Spirit about Manifesting your Heart & Soul’s Desire in 2012 and Beyond
• Release money and love energy attachments to create space for abundance and healthy relationships

Please feel free to invite your friends, there is no charge for this event. The ceremony will begin at 5pm and end at 7pm when the sun sets.  Here is a link to where we are meeting and parking info at Lifeguard Station #26 down on the beach at 2600 Barnard Way. South of Ocean Park and Neilson Way intersection. Santa Monica, CA 90405 R.S.V.P. to Joanna@BigMiracleBreakthrough.com

Joanna Garzilli is an author, entrepreneur, intuition coach and psychic.  Follow her on Twitter here.

It’s Valentine’s Day and the pressure is on to have the perfect day filled with love.

This can lead to impulse purchases because of not wanting to face feelings of low self esteem. Women often hit the mall for new clothes or a spa package and men drop several hundred dollars on a fancy dinner or purchase jewelry they can’t afford to buy someone’s love.

My first negative memory of Valentine’s Day was dreading going to school and being asked, “How many Valentine’s cards did you get?”

I’d got one card and it was from my mom, signed anonymously. I rationalized in my head that I didn’t recognize the writing and that it might be from an admirer but who was I kidding?

I got off the bus and each step closer I took towards my school with the cold London wind blowing in my face, the more insecure I felt.

While my teenage classmates of mine cooed and laughed over how many cards they got and brought in teddy bears and flowers from their boyfriends, I sat at my desk in the corner.

When I was 19 years old, I finally had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day and he wanted to take me out to dinner, woo hoo! I felt like an animal in a zoo. The exclusive Italian restaurant in Notting Hill was packed with couples. While the waiters ran around trying to keep up with the rush, we got neglected and he spent a lot of money on the bill. I thought because he took me out for a posh dinner that was a sign I was loved, problem was I didn’t love this guy, in fact I wasn’t really attracted to him, truth is, I didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day.

When I was 26 years old, I had a boyfriend and he loved me except he was broke and I supported him financially. I was determined now that “I’d found LOVE” to have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. I bought us First Class tickets to fly from London to LA, I booked a very expensive villa at the exclusive Two Bunch Palms resort in Desert Hot Springs where George Clooney, Leonardo Di Caprio stayed and the movie The Player had that steamy lovemaking scene. I was determined to have a good time. On the surface it all looked good, but a couple of days later and thousands of dollars gone from my bank account, I didn’t feel any better. I felt like a Game Show Host, turning love on for the camera.

Today I’m happily married with a son. My husband took my hand. We smiled at each other and both said “Happy Valentine’s Day”. “I love you,” I said and I meant it. “I love you to,” he said and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

My dread of Valentine’s Day has gone. It’s been a long journey to get here.

I used to be so tied up in believing I was loved if I received cards, chocolates, flowers, stuffed teddy bears, jewelry and vacations.

Here are 3 Ways to Express Love on Valentine’s Day without going into emotional or financial debt:

Step #1: Write a list of your fears about Valentine’s Day.

For example: I don’t have a date, I won’t get any cards, I’ve got to have a good time etc. Set a timer for 5 minutes and don’t stop until the alarm sounds.

Step #2: Listen to Your Heart.

Close your eyes and bring your awareness into your heart. What are you feeling in your body when you think about Valentine’s Day?

For example: dread, pressure, old hurt from a past relationship.

Take some deep breaths into your heart and visualize those feelings releasing from your heart.

Step #3: Think Before You Spend.

Before you say, “yes” to going on date with someone or drop a load of cash on someone because you’re in denial about your true feelings, write down why you are taking that action.

For example: My client Stacy, wanted to text her boyfriend Jim and surprise him with a romantic dinner at her favorite restaurant. The problem, Stacy was secretly resentful and wanted Jim to take the initiative. Do you think Stacy should go ahead and make the surprise booking?

My suggestion to Stacy: tell her boyfriend that she’d love him to do something romantic on Valentine’s Day and then let it go. Either he’s going to surprise her or he isn’t. Whatever he does or doesn’t do, Stacy can get clear about if her needs are being met in the relationship.

I’ve helped my clients remove the blocks so that they can find love and given them the solutions to fix broken relationships. Perhaps you need to leave a relationship but you don’t feel ready, I learned that lesson the hard way and it plunged me into massive debt because I ignored my intuition instead of trusting it. That full story is in Unleash The Psychic In You: How To Trust Your Intuition for Successful Decision Making.

Why do one out of two marriages fail? Why are there so many gorgeous talented people who are still single? Why do you believe that you can’t have the type of love you believed was possible when you saw Disney movies as a kid?

You can take advantage of healing your heart and getting beneath the surface of what’s holding you back from experiencing true love. If you feel ready to leave behind the emotional baggage of your past and want to create a new story around love, please email: Joanna@AmericasIntuitionCoach.com and write: “Love Life” in the subject line.

CLICK HERE to watch my dating expert advice on Fox 5 San Diego Morning New: how you can spot the red flags of online dating by using your intuition.