As I sat in the pediatric dental office waiting area, it was too agonizing to be with my thoughts. I began to journal. “Dear God, I don’t have faith in you. I don’t believe in you. I don’t know how to surrender to you. I feel depressed, paralyzed, scared, terrible, bad, fearful, helpless, weak and hopeless. I don’t know what to do”.
My two-year-old son Dominick was under anesthetic and there was nothing I could do but wait.
Two hours earlier, the anesthesiologist had told us that they could not be liable if Dominick experienced brain damage from being put under. It was an agonizing decision to make with my husband Nick because we were responsible for Dominick, his life was in our hands and I felt the weight of needing to make a decision.
The irony is that if a client had come to me with a decision like this, I would have been centered, grounded, and full of faith for them. I was aware that because of my perception of past experiences I had the belief that the universe would not take care of me, or my loved ones.
After an hour of asking the anesthesiologist and pediatric dentist many questions we decided to go ahead with the procedure. My heart felt like a ton of bricks. Dominick sat on Nick’s lap facing him as the first injection was given to our son. He began to scream and I felt every cell in my being breaking. As Dominick’s head and eyes rolled back, I felt like our son had died in our arms. The anesthesiologist scooped him up and took him away.
I fell to my knees hysterical, if my husband had not been there, I would have been lying on the ground because I felt absolutely helpless. We had made the decision and there was nothing we could do to change it.
I didn’t have faith for myself so I reached out to three friends who I knew had faith and I asked them to pray for Dominick.
When Dominick came around from the procedure, I was grateful and still scared. Dominick bounced back quickly and the next day he was back to himself, strong and happy.
My lesson was to surrender, surrender, surrender. This created the space for a little more grace to come into my life.
We will always have to make decisions, some big and others small. Taking full responsibility for your feelings and your thoughts will help you make the right decision.
I think when you are faced with a big life-changing decision, choices that used to be challenging can be made more easily.
In this last week my clients have been faced with making decisions including:
Is it the right time to start my business?
Do I invest more money into this marketing campaign?
Should I fire an employee?
Do I leave the marriage or should I stay?
Is it okay for me to take out a loan to grow my business?
Can I trust this person enough to let them into my heart?
Sometimes your decisions will be hard, other times easy. It is always easier to see what is best for someone else if you are not emotionally attached and you have confidence in them.
Therefore a good place to begin making decisions with ease and grace is to let go of what you are feeling and create space for the wisdom of your soul to guide you. Cultivate confidence in your ability to make empowered choices on a daily basis, and with these actions your soul will grow.
May your day be filled with love.
Love & miracles,
Joanna Garzilli is an intuition expert, author, TV & radio personality. Follow her on Twitter here.